to be honest

Sometimes I know what I want to say, but I don’t know how to say it. At least, not gently and lovingly.

This is how I’ve been feeling for the past couple of weeks. I have so much frustration bottled up inside me. More than anything I just want to break down and cry. I want to wail out and ask “why?” I want my voice to be heard and for people to change.

But I don’t cry out. My pleads for peace won’t change anybody.

So instead I begin to separate myself from the source of my pain and frustration. It works a little, but I’m still frustrated and depressed.

I’ll turn this post into a pity party/rant and just be done with it.

– – – – –

Why are you full of disharmony and hate? You claim to be the same, yet you slander your “brothers.”

Why are you not unified/ functioning as one? You work against one another, each of you hoping to come out on top.

Why does there always have to be a right way, a right answer? Is truth so black and white?

Why do you think you don’t need to understand other people just because you’re “right” about what you believe? Or when you do “understand” your statements are filled with arrogance, rather than love?

Why does the world revolve around the American ideal of capitalism? Why is the USA the standard for the rest of the world? And why do you boast about the country’s political system as though it was designed by God himself?

Why the sarcasm and cynicism?

Why does everyone have to be the same as you? Is there something wrong with diversity?

Why is it so hard to admit you have made a mistake? Or the group you’re affiliated with has messed up?

– – – – –

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve messed up a lot. I’ve been so prideful and so unloving before. In fact, what I’ve written here proves my trouble in loving and accepting people.

Sigh. If only we were perfect.

Still.

Don’t make your imperfection an excuse for your choices.

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